What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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