mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize