I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
