i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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