I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
