I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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