Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
