i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
