new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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