If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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