Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
