me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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