Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
do herpes really smell.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
