Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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