this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
