Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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