You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
