If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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