it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We need to get me chipped asap
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
