True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
