I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
