woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
