She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
