There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
