If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
