shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
