Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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