but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize