are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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