come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
