I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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