You're so nebulous sometimes
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
