I wanna passion pit in your ass
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That accounts for only three of the penises
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
