Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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