if you like me you must not know who I am
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
