so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
