The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize