me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize