i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
