I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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