I got chris browned last night
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish i was in the wii world.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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