Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
