i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She's the barista slut.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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