She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
