Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
