Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize