from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I want to fling myself into the sun
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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