Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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