I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
