Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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