Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
A+ Viking dick
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
