Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
