It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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