finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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