Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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