I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
