I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
