I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize