Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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