My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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