Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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