You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She's JV to your varsity
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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