why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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