We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
