She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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