My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
