I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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